Photo by Aidi Tanndy via Pexels

On a broader scale, there are societal and cultural timelines to which we’ve subscribed. We must be married and have 1.2 children by 30. We must land a leadership role after 10 years in the workforce. We must have a certain amount of money in the bank when we hit 30, 40, or 50 years old. 

I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive for these things. Families, leadership roles, and financial nest eggs are all great things – if it’s what your heart desires. But I believe the problem arises when this hurried mentality translates into a rushed and chronically busy lifestyle on a more granular level. 

Here’s what this looks like for me. Most days, I wake up with a laundry list of to-do’s in my head. And with only roughly 16 waking hours to get them done, I must hit the hardwood floor running to check off every item. If that’s not enough pressure, each to-do must be completed at a certain level (cue the perfectionistic tendencies). In other words, whether I’m dropping the kids off at school, presenting a project to my team, or preparing dinner for my family, each task must earn me a proverbial gold star. 

Our capitalist society has historically praised productivity and hustle. We’re rewarded for the number of things we can accomplish in the least amount of time. But take it from me, someone who has recently embarked on a sabbatical due to severe burnout: This pace is unsustainable. And slowing down gives our bodies time to regulate and repair. 

If you’re not quite sure what a slower life looks like, here are a few ways to practically slow down and smell the hypothetical roses.

1. Manage the guilt of slowing down

Like we discussed earlier, we live in a capitalist society that encourages – and praises – the “hustle and bustle.” From an early age, we were taught to cram our schedules with advanced-level classes and extracurricular activities to be seen as capable and worthy of recognition. In other words, if you’re not constantly busy, then you’re doing something wrong.

Which is why going against this ingrained mindset can feel just that – wrong. The idea of “slowing down” may equate to laziness, idleness, or complacency, especially for those of us from Black and immigrant families. And if you’re someone who’s ambitious and conditioned to work tirelessly to achieve your goals, this may also cause you guilt or shame. 

While I don’t have the solution to eliminating the guilt, it’s important to understand that it’s normal. I recommend noticing whatever feeling comes up for you when you choose to take the slower, more easeful route. Acknowledge it, remind yourself that feelings aren’t facts, and adjust accordingly. These feelings aren’t your signal to speed up. 

 2. Replace multitasking with monotasking

Multitasking was once heralded as the master key to unlocking maximum productivity. It was the hack for getting more things done in less time. But we’ve since learned that multitasking causes a 40% drop in productivity. In reality, multitasking is an illusion, and we’re actually task-switching, which is counterproductive and costly in more ways than one.

Instead, try single- or monotasking, which is proven to maximize your productivity and lower your stress. Yes, our to-do lists are endless. But focusing on one thing at a time, and with minimal distraction and interruption, will bring you a greater return on your investment – your time.

3. Find a rhythm that works for you

This requires a certain level of self-awareness, as many of us have a natural work rhythm that fluctuates throughout the day. This rhythm helps you identify the time(s) of day you feel most energized and have a greater capacity to get s%&t done. 

The goal is to identify the times you perform best and align your schedule to that rhythm as much as possible. Maybe you’re a night owl and tend to do your best work at night. Or maybe you’re the early bird who prefers to start her errands at the crack of dawn. Nonetheless, this approach will help you carve out time for rest, relaxation, and ease as your day flows according to your natural rhythm of energy. 

4. Embrace discipline

Discipline has become a dirty word for some people, and understandably so. To some, discipline equates to sacrifice, and that won’t fly for those of us who thrive on instant gratification. But living a more disciplined life keeps you from “flying by the seat of your pants.” And this can help minimize your stress by reducing the number of not-so-good surprises or flukes in your day-to-day life.

Here’s another perk: People who are more disciplined are less likely to have decision fatigue, which can have negative effects on your mental health. It’s estimated that we make about 35,000 conscious decisions per day. Creating more discipline through daily routines and rituals can help decrease that number significantly while helping to put your mind at ease.

5. Assess the caliber in which you do things

This is one of my favorite quotes from my executive coach, Amy Haworth of Nobody Makes It Alone: “Not everything has to be done at a championship level.” As a former Division-1 athlete, every practice rep, every weight-lifting session, and every preliminary race was to be completed at a high level. And I applied that same mindset to other aspects of my life.

But now I’m embracing the power of good enough. Not every task, project, or even relationship requires a level-10 effort. Differentiate between things that require minimal vs. maximal effort and adjust accordingly.

6. Get in the habit of breathing

The constant “hustle and grind” of our modern lifestyle can lead to an overstimulated nervous system. Our nervous system is our body’s command system: It controls our movements, thoughts, and automatic responses. And it’s composed of two parts: The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. The former drives the “fight or flight” response, and the latter helps us to conserve energy and relax after a stressful event. 

When we’re stressed, including due to chronic busyness, our sympathetic nervous system is activated and causes panic, anxiety, nervousness, breathlessness, and poor digestion – among other things. You can restore balance in your nervous system and counter your body’s stress response with deep breathing. Taking slow, deep breaths activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helps your body to relax, and tells your brain that you’re safe.

Here’s a quick and simple breathing exercise you can use in a pinch:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by undone by paige — yoga, travel, & wellness (@undonebypaige)

7. Remember: Most things don’t require urgency

In episode #175 of The Homecoming Podcast, Emotionally Reactive, Dr. Thema briefly spoke on our tendency to panic and do or say things with immediacy to avoid a “disaster” – which is often spurred by our past traumas. In her words: “Give yourself permission to slow down…and to recognize that not everything is an emergency.” 

If it isn’t an emergency, what decision can you make to embrace a slower pace and avoid the chaos that typically accompanies rushing to and through things?

Can you ask for an extension on your project?

Can you skip this week’s PTA meeting? 

Can you submit that PTO request? 

Can you order takeout for dinner?

Simply pause and ask yourself this question: “What will happen if I slow down and do X instead?”

8. Adopt the mantra: “What’s truly for me won’t miss me.”

I operate in the belief that what’s for you – the thing that aligns with your values and your divine timing – will find you. If you have to jeopardize yourself, your beliefs, your health, or your needs for anything or anyone, then it simply means it wasn’t for you. Unhealthy striving and constant busyness may bring you some level of success in the short-term, but it’s not rewarding or sustainable in the long run.

As you can see, slowing down is about more than doing less. It’s about designing your life in a way that makes space for more rest, ease, and relaxation – all while minimizing your stress and maximizing your productivity.